the five second rule.

198 second rule. galleryrow: Definitely worth checking!...

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 14:56:25 -0700

198 second rule.

galleryrow: Definitely worth checking! ‘Nightfall’ is a three minute tour of light through the City of Angels.

Got my car towed.

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:25:00 -0800

Why yes I did manage to get towed. Embarrassing, I know. I looked at the sign and it said no parking 9 AM to 12 PM Mondays. Perfect, I thought, it’s already Monday night. Somehow I managed to miss the far bigger sign, TOW AWAY ZONE, Monday through Friday, 7 AM to 9 AM. I walked out to get my car at 8:40 AM. I’ve felt like an amateur all day. Oh yeah, the phone number listed on the sign to call in the event of towing? Disconnected.

So far, 2012 you are concerning me.

…

But, hey, here’s a silver lining. When I picked up my car at the tow lot, I saw a slew of cars destroyed by the LA Arsonist. Sucks for them but awesome for me that my car at least wasn’t burned alive AND I got to see the carnage. Glad they caught that f****r.

Why complicate life?

Mon, 02 Jan 2012 18:58:45 -0800

Why complicate life?

Put these in your Spotify and smoke it...

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 23:06:00 -0800

NPR Music’s 50 Favorite Albums Of 2011

Recommended by NPR Music Staff

~~Adele, 21~~

Alexandre Tharaud, Scarlatti: Sonatas

Antlers, Burst Apart

Ashton Shepherd, Where Country Grows

Ballake Sissoko & Vincent Segal, Chamber Music

Beirut, The Rip Tide

Beyonce, 4

Bombino, Agadez

Bon Iver, Bon Iver, Bon Iver

Book Of Mormon, Cast Recording

Bright Eyes, The People’s Key

Brooklyn Rider Brooklyn Rider Plays Philip Glass

Captain Black Big Band, Captain Black Big Band

Civil Wars, Barton Hallow

Colin Stetson, New History Warfare, Vol. 2: Judges

Cormorant, Dwellings

Davila 666, Tan Bajo

Demdike Stare, Tryptych

Donnacha Dennehy, Gra Agus Bas

Ebene Quartet, Fiction

Eric Church, Chief

Frank Ocean, Nostalgia, Ultra

Fucked Up, David Comes To Life

Girl In A Coma, Exits And All The Rest

Glenn Jones, The Wanting

Gretchen Parlato, The Lost And Found

James Blake, James Blake

Joseph Calleja, The Maltese Tenor (Decca)

Julianna Barwick, The Magic Place

June Tabor, Ashore

Kendrick Lamar, Section.80

King Creosote & Jon Hopkins, Diamond Mine

La Vida Boheme, Nuestra

London Philharmonic Orchestra, Symphony 2 (Mahler, Jurowski)

Los Rakas, Chancletas Y Camiseta Bordada

Miguel Zenon, Alma Adentro: The Puerto Rican Songbook

PJ Harvey, Let England Shake

~~Radiohead, King Of Limbs~~

Roots, undun

Shabazz Palaces, Black Up

Sonny Rollins, Road Shows Vol 2

St. Vincent, Strange Mercy

STS, The Illustrious

Tim Hecker, Ravedeath, 1972

Tom Waits, Bad As Me

Tommy Guerrero, Lifeboats & Follies

tUnE-yArDs, w h o k i l l

Wilco, The Whole Love

Wye Oak, Civilian

Hike Beachwood Canyon

Mon, 07 Nov 2011 16:01:00 -0800

I’ve wanted to do this for some time and I think is just the push I needed. So, thank you, LA Times.

BEACHWOOD CANYON, HOLLYWOOD SIGN

Distance: 4 miles

Duration: 1.5 hours

Difficulty: 3

Transportation: Beachwood Canyon DASH bus. Ample free street parking.

This is a brisk city walk with a country feeling, starting high in Hollywood’s Beachwood Canyon and climbing almost to the base of the Hollywood sign. Along the way are fantastic views of the Hollywood Reservoir, some famous homes and a visit to some of the area’s secret public staircases

And THIS is at the top?! Done.

Words to live by.

Mon, 07 Nov 2011 14:44:00 -0800

Words to live by.

The Big Lebowski Challenge

Mon, 07 Nov 2011 01:54:00 -0800

We’ve been talking about this a longer than five seconds, but it finally happened.

The Big Lebowski Challenge is a simple game wherein you follow the Dude’s lead throughout a viewing of The Big Lebowski. When the Dude drinks a White Russian, so do you. When he smokes a J, light it up. Is he drinking an oat soda? There better be a beer in your hand. This Saturday, twelve of us got together and took on The Big Lebowski Challenge.

After a little research into the rules (easy as they are) we compiled a grocery list and went to Ralph’s, though a check for 69 cents was not written, sadly. For your challenge, here’s our list of required items:

Half & Half (full disclosure: we substituted 2% lactose-free milk. I mean, no need to poke the bear, we were about to drink 12 or so White Russians. Also, purists may want to get some non-dairy creamer too, for the occasional “Caucasian”.)
Kahlua, 2 bottles
Vodka, 1 handle of Tito’s
3oz dental cups - you know, the kind you gargle and spit when getting your teeth cleaned. The come in 150 ct. packs, which is good.
Beer, aka Oat Soda and get at least 24 of ‘em.
Ice
Medical Marijuana*, because you that’s illegal and you shouldn’t be smoking it for fun, ok?
Rolling Papers*

*Not available at Ralph’s.

Someone had the brilliant idea to make White Russian shooters for logistical let alone health reasons. Trust me, this is the way to go. Mix equal parts vodka and kahlua filling a large pitcher 2/3 of the way to the top. Stir and toss that concoction into the fridge (or freezer if time is short). When it comes time to start dishing out the shooters add ice and creamer to fill the pitcher and stir - world’s biggest White Russian? Now take out those odd little dentist cups and line up a lot of them. Pour your milkshake-like beverage into the cups and when the Dude drinks his White Russian, abide. White Russian Count: 9-12

Pro Tip: Roll your joints ahead of the challenge too. You’ll quickly notice that despite how many times you’ve seen this movie the White Russians and joints will sneak up on you. Joint Count: 5

Beer worked well as a side beverage throughout the movie. What cotton mouth? Don’t forget to finish it when the Dude drinks one. These come up first, fast and often. Oat Soda Count: Unknown

For an added layer of authenticity, pickup some bowling alley inspired cuisine - pizza, hot pretzels, pigs in a blanket - because food WILL help.

Good luck, friends. Dude responsibly.

Bacon Flavored Vodka Bloody Mary-s

Sun, 06 Nov 2011 01:09:32 -0700

Five second ruled: These are meant for Sundays. Source: Cassie

“language” for the love it! No longer shall I be a...

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 12:20:00 -0700

“language” for the love it!

No longer shall I be a pedant showing off my “own ‘superior’ knowledge of how language should be.

Dispatch 'ed to the Greek

Sun, 12 Jun 2011 20:00:00 -0700

March of 1999 ushered the beginnings of a personal musical enlightenment, my own Spring Awakening. There was a so called battle of the bands that showcased young musicians from neighboring schools in our performing arts center. I’d love to report that I know all this because I was there for the music, there to showoff my ax wielding skills or drumstick fury, but I’m quite sure I was there for a girl. What I remember most about that fine evening, was the winning act’s ridiculous cover of Rage Againsts The Machine’s “Killing in the name of..” In fact, it was so good I wanted to go watch the winner’s play again, when, as a result of their victory, they open for an up-and-coming act called, One Fell Swoop.

If memory serves, it was in the gym of Catonsville Community College. I recall feeling like an adult, going to a concert with a date, playing it cool like I’d been doing this my whole life, all fifteen years of it. So the band I came to see might have been good, but as soon as One Fell Swoop came on, the story quickly became about them. Who is this band? What is this folk-reggae-rock thing blasting off in my ears? Is this what MUSIC is? I was changed, a new man, with newly minted sense of musical bliss. They sounded to my ears then much like the looked like last night at LA’s Greek Theater:

I suppose up until that point I basically listened to whatever my older brother liked or whatever was on the radio and thus the mouths of classmates. But now everything was different. Sure, this band occasionally sounds like Sublime so isn’t exactly revolutionary in sound, but I had discovered these guys (me!). There were mine and that ownership inspired exploration.

I saw One Fell Swoop, or now for some time due to long past legal reasons more commonly known as, Dispatch, last night at the Greek. Honestly, when I noticed they were playing in LA I didn’t believe. It might have been 3 AM and I might have been a little drunk when I bought those tickets, but the novelty alone was worth it. Moreover, I hadn’t seen Dispatch since that first night of discovery, more than twelve years ago. Seeing them again explains so much.

It hadn’t occurred to me before last night, but Dispatch likely directly impacted my taste in music in some of my more formative years. Would I attribute my love of world music acts like Thievery Corporation, Manu Chao and the Gypsy Kings to Dispatch? Probably, yes.

The 90s folk rock thing isn’t really for me anymore, but Dispatch’s bongos, congos and worldly vocals were just outstanding last night. My favorite song, Elias, closed the evening but, yes LA, Flying Horses was epic.

Perhaps I’ll stick to buying tickets past last call from now on..

Ate a Chicken Foot.

Sat, 11 Jun 2011 13:30:00 -0700

Yup.

So this is a delicacy? I’m pretty sure it’s just skin and cartiliage and bones, many bones, fried. It wasn’t what you might call delectable. But it was suggested and so executed.

I had this at the Empress Pavilion, my second dim sum spot in as many weekends. If you’re wondering, Empress Pavilion is a good as Ocean Seafood. Really, they are almost exactly the same. Looking for the best dim sum in LA, my money’s on Sea Harbour Seafood in Rosemeade (make a reservation).

Google Doodle Jammed.

Thu, 09 Jun 2011 13:18:00 -0700

Google Doodle Jammed.:

My musical genius, revealed for all the world to hear. (sorry)

Celebrated the Dragon Boat Festival.

Tue, 07 Jun 2011 15:34:01 -0700

Also known as the Duanwu Festival, this festival occurs in China on the 5th day of the 5th lunar month and… Bob Loblaw…

A few colleagues of mine brilliantly decided to co-opt a number of holidays celebrated around the world, like the Dragon Boat Festival (read: 端午節/端午节). Sure it’s a grand event involving the eating of rice dumplings, drinking of realgar wine and race of dragon boats, but for us it is one in a slew of holidays set aside as means to expand our cultural knowledge. It’s possible they’ll serve as excuses for long, occasionally boozy, lunches too.

In case you’re wondering, a dragon boat race:

Upcoming “holidays”:

4 July - Independence Day, USA (well, yeah)
12 July - Orangemen’s Holiday (aka Orange Day), Northern Ireland (potatoes and Jameson)
1 Aug - Picnic Day, Australia (barb’eed shrimp and Fosters)
15 Aug - Assunzione Day, Many countries (ummm, bread and wine?)
16 Sep - Día de la Independencia, Mexico (#CincoDeMayoIsForAmateurs)
3 Oct - Tag der Deutschen Einheit, Germany (brats and beer)
12 Oct - Fiesta Nacional de Espana, Spain (tortilla espaniola y cidra)
11 Nov - Narodowe Święto Niepodległości (Dzień Niepodległości), Poland (Wodka)
30 Nov - St. Andrew’s Day, Scotland (Driving range + Macallan 18)
16 Dec - Day of Reconciliation, South Africa (“summer kickoff” - so rhino burgers?)

To name a few…

Opportuni-LIES Thanks for this Bamboo Cuisine. Your lunchtime...

Mon, 06 Jun 2011 13:14:00 -0700

Opportuni-LIES

Thanks for this Bamboo Cuisine. Your lunchtime Chinese fare was delectable, or at least those juicy pork dumplings were, but this mis-fortune cookie is either misleading or racist. Also, why weren’t you celebrating the Dragon Boat Festival?

“I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.”

Made a note to myself.

Thu, 02 Jun 2011 12:32:06 -0700

Made a note to myself.

Added ALL of these to the list.

Tue, 31 May 2011 18:12:00 -0700

A list of things to be done. I hate the term bucket list. Why not call it a This Year List or Before Next Tuesday List? I mean, WHERE is the urgency?

Anyway, these are date ideas stolen from this random page, but now they’re mine. Yep, co-opted.

Pretend you’ve never met, then loudly try out lame pickup lines in a swanky bar. Act like they worked.
Go on a walking journey and every fifteen feet draw a chalk arrow in the direction you’re going. At the end of the trip, leave a big pile of chalk.
Create photo evidence suggesting that you went on an adventure that didn’t really happen.
Go for a drive. You can only make right-hand turns. When you finally get stuck, turn around and then you can only make left-hand turns. Repeat until you find something interesting. Take pictures along the way!
Build forts out of furniture and blankets, and wage war with paper airplanes.
Go to a major chain bookstore, and leave notes to future readers in copies of your favorite books.
Write a piece of fiction together. Outside at a cafe. Ask strangers when you get stuck.
Try and visit as many people as you can in one night, and turn as many things inside their apartment upside down as you can, without them noticing.
Do the lamest tourist thing in your area that you have both secretly wanted to do forever. Have an unabashed good time!
Hide and seek in the park
Go around the city with sidewalk chalk and draw hearts with equations inside on random things.
Drive somewhere unknown and have dinner in a city you’ve never been to. With fake names.
Go for a drive with the passenger blindfolded, choosing directions at random. see where you end up
Dress up as pirates, commandeer shopping carts, and have a war upon the high seas.. er, parking lot.
Go on a search for as many good climbing trees as possible, climb as high as you both can in all of them, compile photo evidence.
Rent a movie you’ve never seen before. Set on mute and improvise dialogue.
Dress up as pirates and go parrot shopping at local pet stores.
Go to the airport, get the cheapest, soonest departing flight to anywhere when you show up, and stay there for a weekend.
Walk around a city and perform short silent plays in front of security cameras.
In the middle of the night, drive to the beach, so you arrive just as the sun is rising. Have a breakfast picnic, then fall asleep together. Bring a sun umbrella.

“Dates” or not, all of these ~~must~~ will be done, posthaste!

Said Yea to Yeasayer.

Mon, 23 May 2011 23:06:00 -0700

Monday sucked. One of those Monday’s that reminds us why we hate Mondays. I mean it felt like a Monday. Ugh. After sitting through a nonstop, end to end day of meetings, I checked out at four and headed one of my favorite after work spots. So there I was, letting go of the day’s funk when someone said, “you hear Yeasayer’s playing tonight and there are still tickets left?”

“Seriously?.”

“True Story.”

“Done…”

After a few misfires while trying to buy tickets from my phone, it all came together.

What a great application of the five second rule. Yeasayer’s a band I’ve long wanted to see and, honestly, they were as good as could be expected. Probably shouldn’t have missed the opening acts, but I was late.

Ob la di.

Said Yes to No Bar.

Wed, 18 May 2011 21:20:00 -0700

It’s a Wednesday night and I have an early morning Thursday flight, of course I’ll go to No Bar! A friend I hadn’t seen in a while suggested we head to No Bar, the last in a long line of Vintage Bar Group properties that we had yet to check off the bucket list.

In true VBG fashion, No Bar was dimly lit and stocked with a mellow and appealing clientele, speedy and unpretentious service, and an epic jukebox packed with everything from Parliament to Radiohead. Uniquely, this place even has a pool table. The nice thing about this bar group’s cast of establishments is that all of them immediately feel like home, like you’re supposed to be there, like they’ve been waiting for you.

Tonight’s PIC had a great idea. After putting five George Washingtons into No Bar’s analog jukebox and realizing we had 18 tracks worth of work to do, a game was born. First, close your eyes and use those arrows to flip the sleeves of compact disc covers back and forth at random. Then, still looking away, pick a number 1-12 (12 discs displayed at once) and a track number. BOOM! There’s our next song. Great idea until Vanna White didn’t like my letter choices and the vetoes ensued. I stand by it, Elvis Costello’s Watching the Detectives is a superb song.

If you’re in North Hollywood for some mysterious reason, check out No Bar. But if you rarely get to that No Man’s Land beyond the Cahuenga Pass, El Bar is probably a touch nicer, certainly darker and has its own parking lot.

Partied on a School Night.

Mon, 16 May 2011 21:17:00 -0700

Just over a year ago longtime KCRW DJ and elite among LA’s music scene, Chris Douridas, started School Night at Bardot. This reliable event could probably be pitted against any Monday party in the nation without much of a fight. This last year I saw the likes of up and coming greats such as Two Door Cinema Club, The Naked and Famous, Twin Shadow and Gordon Voidwell. It’s free to get in - a hard to negotiate door Thursday through Friday - if you RSVP and you can be sure you’ll discover a new band with some time left over for a serious dance off (old school rules). Beware, however, it’s $12 beer night..

This last School Night was my very own one year anniversary of partying on a Monday School Night. Just over a year ago I moved to Hollywood and it didn’t take long to checkout this then-new party. So on Monday, I met a couple of buddies and headed to Bardot. Unfortunately we got there too late to see much of the first act, Obi Best. What I did hear though was pretty darn good. I think I’ve seen them billed on another School Night so hopefully Alex Lily and her band will play another Monday soon.

I really came to see the headlining act, but not yet. The second band, Gardens and Villa was the surprise of the night. This youthful Santa Barbara quintet had everyone dancing with unique sounds in the hipster rock lexicon mixed with hints of well produced 80s elements. Looks like they’re touring with Foster the People the summer, so I’ll catch ‘em again at Los Angeles’ El Rey Theatre on July 7th, two days after the release of their first full length record.

So finally, the band I came to checkout, I first saw at Bardot opening for The Naked and Famous. Chris Douridas digs Hands, I (gratefully) hear their tracks every time he fills in on Morning Becomes Eclectic. So second time around for Hands and, man, they were fantastic. Tons of new music, better production and clearly a band coming into their own. I hope it happens for them, because we should all be blessed by their Magic Fingers.

Too bad I was so tired because the late night portion of this School Night saw Hot Sugar bring a DJ set that reminds of a classic STS9 opener - Eliot Lipp, Paper Diamond (Alex B), Pretty Lights, etc. Alas, my fatigue overpowered one last application of the five second rule. Sure I went home and got in bed, but I bought Hot Sugar’s album on Tuesday.

Dined at District's Oyster & Beer Fest 2011.

Sun, 15 May 2011 20:15:00 -0700

In a word, FAIL.

Oysters are one my favorite things in the world so when I first heard about last Sunday’s event, there was no other place I’d rather be. I promise there is no hint of exaggeration when I say my evening at District’s Oyster & Beer Fest 2011 was the worst service experience of my life. There is nothing I love more than enjoying a fine meal and imbibing delicious cocktails. Between that and a number of years in the food and beverage industry, I am simultaneously both demanding yet compassionate and forgiving of service lapses. That is unless a lapse or two proves to be a systemic failure of astonishing proportions.

Our party of five was promptly seated by the bubbly and cordial host. She helped us deliver our drinks from the bar (beer bucket! - not bad) and handed us the evening’s limited menu; the focus here is oysters and beer, it was clear and quite acceptable to see so few other items available. After twenty minutes of sitting there, sans water or contact from anyone on the service staff, one in my party finally got up to speak with our host, who quickly chased down a server for us, a server that did not arrive for another five minutes and explained, “sorry there was a miscommunication…” Blah, blah, blah - no big deal, we get it, now on with the show! I asked for a wine list and we immediately ordered our food and water for the table in case the service so continued. Continue, it did.

After another ten minutes of waiting to request our chosen bottle of wine, a different server approached us saying, “you look like you’re looking around for something, can I help you?” What initiative! I thought. I ordered what turned out to be a pretty darn good bottle of wine from Hungary, Tokaji Dry Furmint “Mandolas” 2007.

It ended up being a perfect oyster wine, complementary and light with an oddly appealing and subtle sweet finish. The wine was served promptly (once ordered) and in high quality wine glasses, a nice touch.

The food came and along with the two dozen oysters, an order of bbq ribs and chili cheese fries, I asked the food runner/server for extra horse radish - cocktail sauce never has enough. “Sure thing,” he said. We never saw him again. Oh yeah! Despite repeated requests, we never got water for the table either.

Halfway through our meal two in our group asked for another couple of beers. These never came. Then, at 9:30 PM in a dining room full of patrons, another completely different server approached our table to inform us it was last call for food and alcohol, surprising but fair, I guess. Then just a few minutes later the same server returns asking if we had already closed our tabs. “Ummmmm, no. We have not received our check yet but definitely want it as soon as possible.” We were ready to get out of this place. Someone drops the check and we leave a credit card in the folder. Our host, the one and only person in the entire establishment that noticed our pain and cared enough to participate swooped the check folder and credit hard with haste. They ran our card and returned THAT promptly. Funny, the server who took our order after a much delayed initial arrival was only seen by our table when he delivered his check.

This was a terrible experience. I will not come back and, in fact, will discourage others from attending and taking on a disastrous dining experience. Generally, I’m a big believer in taking my problems with a restaurant to its management right then and there. Give the organization a chance to fix it! Alas, we couldn’t speak to the same person twice in this place all night, let alone a manager. Does anyone care here? It’s too bad, too. I quite like Bowery and Mercantile, both in the same restaurant family.

If you are looking for a quality dining experience in Hollywood with a classic early 20th century feel, quality cocktails, excellent service and great food, go to Wood & Vine.

Like I said, District, in a word, failed.